Fear in Fancy Pants

This post was originally written February 28, 2021

Perfectionism is an admirable trait . It’s couched in ideals of having standards, striving to always be your best.

And what’s wrong with having standards?

But perfectionism will convince you not to let yourself be seen until you’ve mastered those standards. You’ll never master them enough to silence the voice of perfectionism.

Perfectionism is more concerned about whether your life, your work, your physical self, your art, your kid, your house, your cat, dog, or panda bear is acceptable to other people then whether it is good for you.

No not panda bears. Perfectionism wouldn’t allow you to have anything as silly as that. That’d just be weird. Perfectionism wouldn’t be caught dead letting people think she’s weird.

See perfectionism plays it cool. She’s only there to help. If you can present the most polished up version of yourself and your art to the world, then they’ll love you. Approve of you. Support you. She’ll help you create a facade of acceptability.

But the truth is that perfectionism is the very thing keeping you from experiencing the joy of knowing you belong, right there where you’re at, in whatever your your current condition is, before you’ve even mastered the technique or managed to conquer your ability to pronounce difficult words like “hat” in front of an audience.

And all that effort to tidy up your exterior and only allow your very best efforts to be seen, well it’s bound to attract attention. Yes, people are attracted to shiny things. But keeping that dog and pony show going can be exhausting.

I used to believe that old story. Used to believe it mattered more that others approved of me and my art then it did to love or like myself.

It wasn’t until I realized that all that effort was keeping me from the thing I most wanted, authentic connection, that I began to see that perfectionism was an imposter.

Nothing but fear in fancy pants.