Madwoman

The transition is transitioning

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Madwoman by Crystal Marie 30”x30”x2.5” Cold Wax Mixed Media on Collage

Sometimes you need
a good spiral
to stir things up.
Bring up what has settled
on the bottom
that it might be skimmed
from the top,
remove the impurities
once and for all.
Light a match.
Burn away those impurities,
that poisonous thinking
once and for all,
lest it consume you
if left to settle again.
~Crystal Marie

Madwoman - detail

Something happened in the studio last night. I felt a shift in my thinking as I worked and it extended through my fingertips, lighting up the canvas before me.

Something drove the strokes and the marks.

It came from deep places and spilled all over. All over my pristine work and carefully arranged elements. It was primitive, visceral, burning, cleansing.

Madwoman - detail

I walked away satisfied, but not until I returned this morning did I see it, and instantly fell in love.

With my work and my very own being. Right there in that room knowing it was complete.

I was complete.

Even now, I weep for the knowing.

All of the lies and all of the pain and the suffering and the sleepless nights. All of it right there in front of me.

It’s so beautiful I can hardly stand it.

Madwoman - detail

Metamorphosis has shifted. The transition is transitioning. I’m no longer mad. I’m Madwoman.

Beast and beauty.

All of it is me. What isn’t has burned away. Gone now.

The ashes are still floating, tinged in fire, drifting above the studio off through the sky.

What is left of myself, I have gathered, like my own children, these pieces, no longer separate. My face, smeared in paint.

Fierce.

Madwoman.

Warrior.