The past few months I’ve found myself operating from a place of survival mode, the drumbeat of which has been ringing in my ears “just get through this thing and then you can . . .” January has come and gone now, but ringing in my ears is the pitch of hyper-vigilance, that anxious part of my nervous system that is still ramped up. So rereading today’s exert and seeing the mention of survival mode really got my attention.
Somewhere over the past few weeks, I started an outline for a post on the matter and hope to sit down next week to finish. But in the way of trying to step out of self-blame and be that nonjudgemental observer, I’ve noted some things in the midst of it all that I recognize of something of a pattern for me.
As a result, and maybe this is a little vague, I am planning some changes for the way I run this blog and my art practice in general. Necessary changes. Good changes. Things that I hope will better serve the way I’m actually wired, that will hopefully be the first steps toward a better quality of life and more manageable balance between studio time and writing time.
Meanwhile, here’s the final exert from Chapter 2 of the book. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it in the comments section.
With gratitude,
Crystal Mare
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