The Crack in Everything

Forget your perfect offering

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“There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.”
~Leonard Cohen

My 57th birthday is just over a month away. I was born on a Sunday at 1:55 am at Mercy hospital in Champaign, Illinois in the midst of corn country. A Libra by birth, I’ve long identified with the basic trait of my sun sign, the scales of justice. Inclusion is important to me, as is letting everyone know they matter. I’m passionate about calling out injustices and systems of inequality, and helping people see their own worth. The mantra of my teaching career as an artist could be boiled down to “Your voice matters!”

But it wasn’t until recently, listening to an interview with author/astrologer Chani Nicholas, who connected the traits of our sun signs to areas we tend to be dysregulated that a tiny crack of insight opened inside of me:

“Libra is the sign of justice, so the scales of justice are always being weighed by this sign. We can always depend on Libras to point out what is out of balance, what is not equitable. The problem with that, is that it is outward focused, and it’s focused on the collective, so Libra themselves tend to get out of balance, because they’re so relationship focused. Their tendency is to go to the other person, rather than stay with themselves, so learning how to stay with yourself is really important for Libra sign people.”

Ouch. And nailed.

Translation: I tell you how much your voice matters, while agreeing to an unspoken gag order on mine. I tell you to listen deeply to your Intuitive Voice—the truest, most authentic, beautiful, core place inside of you, while bending over backwards to dodge hearing from mine.

I call out the tangled web of perfectionism, the trap of comparison, the lies of black & white thinking that have bound you to fear, forming obstacles to your own deeper healing and creative freedom, even as I weigh, measure, and hold myself accountable to an unspoken agreement of someone else’s idea of good and bad. Allowing opinions of some invisible committee to determine my worth. Sinking into a pit of silent despair over not being able to live according to someone else’s standards.

“The birds they sang
At the break of day
. . .
There is a crack, a crack in everything
Forget your perfect offering”

This tiny crack of self-awareness isn’t a new epiphany. It is simply the next verse to an ongoing song leading me to freedom. The canary inside of me rising. Reverberating wings against a cage so tightly bound around my heart it has nearly grafted itself in, breaking yet another bar in the way of my own liberty. Reminding me of my own deepest truths. My own power. Shedding light on my own forgotten strengths.

This is why I write. This voice of mine, it matters. It isn’t perfect, but it has important things to say. Maybe you do need to hear that too. Maybe it is the very reason you are here. These truths I speak, they are for you. I will always root for your freedom.

But they are also for me.

This is my stake in the ground moment. I am breaking the silent agreement that binds my voice. My story matters.

If I can help just one person to heal by sharing it, if putting it out here for the world to see leads just one person to freedom today—let it be me.

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.”
~Leonard Cohen

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Because there is always so much I want to tell you about, I’m adding a new section to my posts. These lists will be a compilation of things I find noteworthy and quote worthy that I think you might find interesting too.

Notes and Quotes - A list of things on my radar this week:

1. Chani Nicholas being interviewed on Glennon Doyle’s podcast, We Can Do Hard Things at this link.

2. For an entertaining and informative look at the effects of complex-PTSD, check out Dr. Ingrid Clayton’s Instagram account at this link.

3. I’m halfway through reading her new memoir called Believing Me: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex Trauma, a good read for anyone, but especially those who learned to dismiss that little voice inside because things weren’t that bad. Check it out on Amazon at this link.

4. “Listen to your life . . . touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace. ~Fredrick Buechner