My 2024 Word: Restructure

But what does it mean?

More Than the Beating of a Single Heart; 8"x22"x1" Collage Mixed Media by Crystal Marie

In the last post of December¹, I included a poll asking readers to respond to 4 options:

1) I choose a word each year 2) I write resolutions/goals 3) Both—I choose a word and set goals 4) Nope. I don’t do either.

Thirty-three people participated in the poll, some replied to the post in a private email, and a few shared their thoughts in the comments. Of the responses to the poll: 33% pick a word for the year, 15% write resolutions and/or goals for the year, 27% said they do both, and 24% do neither. A small sampling of the readers here on the blog for sure, but it adds up to mean that 75% do indeed chose to set intentions or goals in some way at the start of the new year.  

One of the many reasons I write these posts, whether here on the blog or somewhere on social media, is to have a written record of it. This time next year, I’ll look back and see what came to be and what completely dropped off my radar. I tend to find that my chosen word is influencing me even if I forget about it altogether.

I’ve seen others proclaim more traditional words for their 2024 intention or theme. Words like hope or dream or adventure. “Creativity” is always quite popular. One blogger I follow chose “expansion” which has a bit of a hopeful ring to it. A dear friend has chosen “reclamation” which resonates deeply for me but does not fully encompass what I’ve been sensing on my personal horizon.

Another friend shared that a word has not presented itself to her yet this year. This also resonates, in that my words do indeed seem to pick me instead of the other way around. Somewhere towards the end of the year I begin to sense my word and it starts popping up in random places at more than a coincidental rate. Usually I embrace the word when this happens, but this one had to chase me down until I was too tired to resist it.

My word is Restructure.

Restructure:
verb
re·​struc·​ture (ˌ)rē-ˈstrək-chər
restructured; restructuring; restructures

:to change, alter, or restore the structure of

: to change the makeup, organization, or pattern of

There is so much to say about this word. So many offshoots of the way that I’ve found it applicable.

Last October, I shared² that I’d been contemplating the question “How do we create a life we don’t need to escape from in order to avoid burnout?” after realizing I’d been swirling around the rim of another serious bout of it for the entire previous year. I’d been beating myself up for not being able to manage it all until it hit me that what I was trying to manage was an untenable workload. I began brainstorming around that question with a friend, who challenged me to consider what it was that I really wanted to do. Not just what I wanted to do to get out of the immediate predicament, but what do I really want to do with my life. What absolutely lights me up inside?

I’ve identified life coaching and mentoring artists as a direction I’d like to shift my practice to. It is the thing I’m most excited about when I incorporate any aspect of it into my teaching and writing practice. It goes hand in hand with my teaching about the Intuitive Voice and overcoming blocks in the studio.

But today, right now, at this very moment, if I were to be honest, if I could choose to do anything with my time each day and count on the money to support myself, I’d choose writing and making art. I wouldn’t put a schedule to it, I’d set up a writing station in the studio where I could move back and forth freely as I felt led.

Isn’t that every artist’s dream though? To have unfettered time to create?

The reality is I don’t think I’d do well with that kind of artistic freedom for an overly lengthy amount of time. I need interaction, goals, accountability, and a sense of purpose that is connected to a community of artists.

Teaching is a natural offshoot of the artmaking for me, but the shift to opening my website as a teaching platform³ was where I began to really hit this wall. The one that had me daily feeling over-extended, underwhelmed with my career, disconnected, and overwhelmed with the tasks involved to manage it all.

This is where I was when I began asking myself that question. The one about creating a life you wouldn’t need to escape from. It started with a resounding drumbeat inside my head. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. All the while fantasizing about great big escapes.

Except I don’t want to escape my life. I want a life that I can thrive in, that gives me a sense of purpose, and connection to a community. I’ve come to realize that this way of working wasn’t only about being too much for me to manage alone, but that much of it happened out of necessity, in the midst of trying to navigate a career as a working artist throughout the pandemic. Nearly four years from the start of it, it is time to shift out of survival mode.

And so unintentionally at first, and then intentionally⁴, I hit pause—on my Facebook group Canary Rising, on filming self-paced courses for my website of the same name, and on writing the book and posting excerpts for monthly paid subscribers.

The pause in these activities gave me a bit of margin to begin reflecting on what I want to do and what I need to make it happen. Some things are in the works, and I can’t share at this time, while others are still forming, not-quite-ready to implement, ideas.

I’ve identified four key areas that I need to restructure in order to move away from surviving into thriving: Personal Life/Health, Art Making (my own artwork), Teaching and Community, and Writing.  I’ll share more in future posts about some of these decisions, beginning with what is happening specific to this blog.

What about you? Have you chosen a word (or set a goal) for the year? (I’d love to hear it in the comments if you have!) If you want to elaborate, here’s a few things I’m curious about:

1)    What area of your life does your word or goal impact?

2)    Does it light you up inside to think about?

3)    What has to change in order to make that happen?

4)    Letting go of something that is good to get to something better can feel like a huge loss. This is the area I tend to get stuck (especially if my decisions impact someone else). What strategies do you have in place to help you through the transition?

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Spoiler alert, I’m not letting go of my teaching practice. I love it too much, but I am shifting where and how and why I teach, while continuing to contemplate what I really want to happen with the website and community that I’ve grown so fond of.

1. The Space Between: Permission to Dream

2. How Do We Create a Life From Which We Don't Need to Escape?

3. https://www.canaryrising.com/

4. Making the Unofficial Official